Resilience, Validation, and Vulnerability
RESILIENCE
Definition: The ability of a person to overcome barriers. At the same time, resilient individuals are able to ask for help when they need it, and they understand it’s perfectly okay for them to not be strong and feel okay all the time
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Being able to be honest about emotional and physical wellbeing marks a truly strong individual
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Children diagnosed at a young age are often prided for being resilient→ this can lead to the child not knowing how to ask for help or how to not be okay
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Reluctance to be honest about feeling unwell physically or emotionally because they are “supposed to be resilient”
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Solution: caregivers and providers should be mindful that chronic disease patients must naturally be resilient, and along with that comes the need for emotional support and the ability to ask for help
Sharing feelings
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It is very important to share how you feel! Being able to discuss feelings and ask for help is a very important part of being a resilient person. Have some people you feel comfortable talking to about:
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Self-image/esteem
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Physical Symptoms
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Mental health
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How IBD impacts your life
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Worries/Concerns
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Successes and Achievements
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Understand that gender has nothing to do with resilience! Sometimes societal dictations of gender roles may tell a gender to keep emotions in and be strong all the time→ this can be very damaging to mental health and physical health (mind-gut connection)
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Debunk toxic masculinity
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Learn that being open about how you feel makes you MORE strong and resilient!
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VALIDATION
Definition:
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Acknowledging and affirming all patient's symptoms, experiences, and feelings even if you do not understand them
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Understanding that one cannot fully understand IBD without living through it
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Expressing patience and attention to patients' needs and that wellness is unique for each patient
Types of Validation:
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Showing interest and giving the patient the respect of listening
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Accurately reflect
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Put yourself in their position; read their emotions and thoughts
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Validate based on history (I know you, I get you, I understand)
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Validate based on current circumstances
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Radical genuineness (communicate like equals, human to human)
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Acknowledge their feelings and symptoms, even if you do not understand them!
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Part of validation is action. Even if you do not know the answer, clearly set up a plan to help the patient (for symptoms, challenges, etc.). It is more important for the patient to see follow-up than a magic bullet solution
VULNERABILITY
"I was facing a complicated Crohn's surgery and had a lot of worry and fear about it. I was able to communicate my questions and uncertainties with my surgeon. Likewise, they validated me and acknowledged that the outcome was uncertain, but spent a lot of time walking through all the options and how they would proceed to optimize my care. I felt so much more confident and calm because of that, and was much more prepared for my recovery."
- IBD Patient
Definition:
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Ability to express our insecurities, fears, and feelings
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Facing uncertainty, risk, and emotions
Why is vulnerability so important? To address the root causes of problems, we need to express our feelings and fears around them. Additionally, being vulnerable builds connection with other people and can reinforce the patient support system. This vulnerability goes both ways. Patients, providers, and caregivers can communicate and be vulnerable with each other.
Tips with Vulnerability:
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Taking baby steps to face vulnerability
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Letting go of what society and/or other people think of you when they are more likely focused on their own internal problems
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Take breaks whenever you feel overwhelmed
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Remember that no one is perfect and it is okay to make mistakes
Sources:
https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/daring-be-vulnerable-brene-brown